Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
What a dumb baby whore.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
