Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
