Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
