I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
