You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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