You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You have to summon your inner elephant
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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