I want to walk on stilts...naked
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
