I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
