And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
