Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
