Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
