But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
