he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
