I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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