I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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