Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
