So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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