I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
