i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
