pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
