Do vagina's smell?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
