You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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