I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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