I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
