I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
