She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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