did you get engaged???
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
