I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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