when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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