I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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