are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize
