Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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