Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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