I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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