I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
