508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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