i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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