Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
