i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize