I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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