Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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