i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize