Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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