It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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