I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
