I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
