Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
