Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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