Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
