Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we made out on top of his cat.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
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i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
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You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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