i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
