so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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