So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
