Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
