Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
