Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
you had me at cake vodka
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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