When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
