I'm really into asian looking animals
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize