You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
