there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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