so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
