I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
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My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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