omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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